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A nearly point-by-point response to recent semi-public accusations
Please note that this post is public, and anyone is welcome to read and comment, including my ex-wife, Leslie. For those who are seeing this without the context of being in the “NCF Resistance” Slack group, or seeing my previous restricted posts, the gist is that I asked some questions about something Leslie was doing in the game "Ingress". She responded by “going nuclear” and posting a ton of accusations and … lies. I responded to some of her statements in the group, but was asked to keep such “drivel” out of the group - which is a good point: it doesn't belong there, though I certainly didn't "start it". So I’m responding to the rest of her messages here. I will not be posting the full conversation publicly, out of respect for the privacy of other participants, so if anything doesn’t make sense, I apologize, but you’ll just have to treat this as another of life’s mysteries.
For those of you coming here from the Slack group or other contexts who don’t already know everybody:
Any
Leslie claims she left me because I didn’t believe her about the reason Audrey was fired. She’s right that I don’t believe her, but that’s the only thing she’s right about.
Not-quite-aside: “He hated me.” I never hated her. I never said I hated her. I don’t believe I ever behaved as if I hated her. I didn’t believe her, I was angry at her, I was afraid of her, I want her to stop interfering in Audrey's and my lives, but I never hated her. I don’t hate her now. I just want to live my life without having to tiptoe around her, worried about her exploding in accusations or storming out of rooms. ...To spell out the point more explicitly: THIS. IS. GASLIGHTING. She has decided my thoughts and feelings, and claims to have acted on them, and no amount of explanation from me, NOT THAT I SHOULD HAVE TO, has changed her mind.
But, believe it or not, that’s not the point of this item.
The point is this:
Now, I can understand that memory is faulty. Dates get mixed up. People get confused. But this was probably the largest, most significant decision she has made in at least the last 5 years (if not 10, 15, or 20), and she can’t get her story straight on why she made it?
If I were in a position where I was listening to her side of this story, this kind of incontrovertible, straight-up factual distortion (if not outright lie) would really make me reconsider the accuracy and truthfulness of everything else she’s said to me about it.
“Adultery” apparently has a very fuzzy definition, so I’m just going to arbitrarily pick one: “Unauthorized sexual contact outside of marriage”.
First, I am going to take a moment here and make it clear that I am polyamorous. I “came out of the closet” to Leslie and a close group of friends nearly 12 years ago, but did not practice it at the time. Here’s the blog post, though most of you won’t be able to see it, and I’m not going to make it public, but it’s there (“Lunch with Mom” @ Jul. 10th, 2006 03:57 pm). For nearly 11 years, I waited for Leslie to be “ready” to even seriously talk about it, much less do anything about it, though she felt comfortable enough to threaten to leave me if I ever did anything about it. For those of you wondering why I waited 11 years, well, that’s an entirely different blog post.
That brings us to the accusation of “adultery”. I met Audrey at the beginning of 2017, and we became friends, and started getting closer over the following months, but I want to go on record and state unequivocally that Audrey and I had NO sexual contact until AFTER June 3rd, 2017, when I told Leslie that polyamory was something I had to do, and that if she wanted to leave me over it, she was free to go. At that time, Leslie consented and agreed to it. My first date with Audrey was June 7th, and it’s what we consider to be our anniversary. As for when we did first have sex, that’s none of y’all’s fucking business, but it was after that.
If Leslie chooses to believe we did anything before that date, that’s her right, but I have given her no reason to think so. At best, she’s making things up to justify her anger. At worse, she’s delusional. At this point, any further burden of proof lies on her. (As another aside, I acknowledge that having somebody “waiting in the wings” before converting an existing monogamous relationship to non-monogamy is generally not a good idea, and I may have moved more quickly in my relationship with Audrey than Leslie wanted, but in my defense, 11 years is a long time to wait, and if the proverbial dam burst, that’s unfortunate, but well, shit happens.)
Second, if she’s referring to sexual contact after she consented to non-monogamy, then I just want to say, without going into the excruciating detail she went in to when telling me about it, that she’s a hypocrite.
Yet another aside: You know, if she had stopped at “The only mystery here is why my ex-husband is bringing drama into Ingress,” not only would that have been the end of it, but she would have probably left me looking like an asshole, and there wouldn’t have been much I could have done about it. Instead she had to escalate with all this other shit. This pattern of responding to any perceived slight with nuclear levels of counter-attack was … let’s just say ... consistent throughout our marriage.
I tried to address this in my first rebuttal, but I think the point went over Leslie’s head. My point was: who the hell is Leslie to decide whether Audrey is doing the team thing or not? She uses this as justification, but has no right to make the claim in the first place. Nor is it true. Audrey has been consistently doing team things, from as little as upgrading resonators to in-person events.
Is this more gaslighting?
...right up to the point where it affects other people.
In other words, when she made an in-game move against Audrey, she made it Audrey’s business. When Audrey asked me what was going on (particularly asking if Leslie may have flipped teams), it became mine.
First, note the language: “My marriage”. Not “our marriage”.
A common theme of abusers is that they are possesive.
From “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft
Second, Audrey didn’t “crawl” anywhere. She was invited. By me. It’s so common as to be a cliche for people to blame the “outsider” when a partner strays (not that I did!). But if she wants to make claims of adultery, don’t blame Audrey. Fuckin’ blame me! Then do something about it. Like, I don’t know, maybe move out and divorce me...
No, she didn’t start working at Leslie’s job. How would she have done that, sit on her lap, and push her hand aside every time she reached for the mouse?
No, what happened was that Leslie and Audrey started working at the same company. On the same day. Because the same temp agency sent them over as candidates within a few days of each other, because they both needed jobs! Yes, Leslie was hired first, but that is a really tenuous hook to hang a claim on. And while Audrey knew that Leslie had been hired there, it's entirely unreasonable to ask her to turn down an exciting, well-paying, career-advancing job just because Leslie can't act like a fucking adult.
And let’s go a step further - they did not have to interact with each other as part of their job duties. The fact that Leslie is even complaining about this shows how immature and irrationally possessive she’s being about this whole thing.
Audrey needed a job - she was unemployed, as Leslie so succinctly pointed out, and is a single mother of three teenagers. She found one. It happened to be in Progress Park. She took it, because it was her best option despite Leslie working across the street.
Audrey needed a place to live - her apartment had all kinds of basic habitability problems, and her lease was almost up. She found one. It happened to be in the same 100+ unit apartment / townhouse complex. She took it, and took steps to get an available unit as far from Leslie as possible, because it was her best option despite Leslie. (I also dispute the assertion that her apartment can be seen from Leslie’s window. There’s an entire building in the way, unless I’m missing some weird sightline.)
Audrey needed a car - her prior one got terrible mileage, was over 15 years old, and, oh, didn’t have air conditioning (and Florida summer is coming!). She found one. No, wait, I found one. If happened to be the same model - but a very different year and color! - as Leslie’s. She bought it because it was her best option… and she didn’t even consider Leslie, because it’s just a damn car!
Even more asides:Proofreading this right now just before posting it, I'm struck again by how petty this set of complaints is. Why do I need to defend my partner and myself from someone whos accusation basically boils down to "I am very angry that this person is living their life"? Like, seriously, does Leslie realy think that Audrey is such a master of subterfuge and manipulation that she can get hired at companies twice, via a temp agency, just to follow Leslie around, and yet she's so incompetent at interpersonal relationships ("fired for pissing off a co-worker") that she can't manage to avoid getting fired after just a few months? And is she really so arrogant to think that at the second job, Audrey did nothing but, what, sit at a window with a pair of binoculars just to stare at Leslie's car in the parking lot? And yet she didn't get fired from that job?
You know, what, while I’m on a roll, I’m going to call shenanigans on this claim as well. I can’t say with absolute certainty, but as best as Audrey or I can remember, the area Leslie modified looked exactly the same before she started as after. Could there have been a blocker link that we missed and she removed to work on her field? Maybe? But this just rings of a hollow ex post facto excuse to me.
She hasn’t proven anything. She has not shown me one shred of evidence - one screenshot, one memo, one email. She has asserted a lot of things, but if there’s one new thing I’ve learned through this process it’s that her verbal assertions are certainly not evidence - in fact, they’re usually quite the opposite (see the very first item above). As for calling Mark (her boss), there are two reasons I am avoiding contacting him
Audrey’s version of events is that her former supervisor was shocked and disappointed by her losing her job. The former supervisor has since supported her job search as a reference and has cheered her and encouraged her. I have seen considerable third-party verification of Audrey's version of events and zero third-party information supporting Leslie’s version of events.
From my journal entry (“Divorce” @ Sep. 2nd, 2017 03:03 am, which is also private for now) written the night this happened:
Now I will cheerfully acknowledge that this is probably not exactly what happened either (for example, Audrey's journal written that night doesn't have Leslie twitching until after she suggests calling 911). I didn’t video record the evening (and what I wouldn’t give to have a recording). But this was my best attempt to privately and accurately record the events as I saw them, and within a couple of hours of them happening. I’d think if she was poking her fingers at her phone while strolling around the room, as opposed to walking toward me menacingly and balling her fists, I’d have mentioned it in my private journal, don’t you?
(Further, claiming that the first thing she asked was if her phone was broken as proof that she was on her phone, is no proof at all. It is merely another assertion of her own version of events. That’s like quoting the Bible to prove the accuracy of the Bible.)
I gotta tell you, this one made me laugh.
My history has stayed, as far as I can tell, extremely consistent. Not only have I been keeping a journal, but I’ve been periodically going back and re-reading the old entries to make sure that my memories are not drastically changing, and to correct any drift that has occurred over time (because for those who have no interest in neurology is what memory does). Meanwhile, her stories seem to be changing constantly, seemingly at random, or maybe just depending on how angry she is at me that day. Hell, I can think of three reasons off the top of my head that she’s given me for filing for divorce. (1. To stop me from buying Disney annual passes for Audrey’s kids (which I’ll note was a misunderstanding in the first place from something our daughter told her, NOT an actual plan I had, and if I had, would have been an order of magnitude less money than our final judgement ended up being). 2. Because she got hired on full-time at her company and thus had the stability to take the next step. 3. And now, because I didn’t believe her story about something that happened three days later.)
What have we done in the Slack group that could have possibly kept her away, other than existing? There has been no snark, no attacks, no “my bitchy ex-wife”... Hell, last time I talked about her, all I said was, “just fyi, my lovely wife is now my lovely ex-wife.”. WHAT A MONSTER I AM!!!!!! (That’s sarcasm right there, in case you missed it.)
OMG. Look at that malicious glee. This is why I am sometimes afraid of her. Once she gets a justification in her head, there seems to be no restrictions on what she’ll do to hurt me or Audrey. IMHO, a “decent” person, when falsely accused of wrongdoing either denies it, ignores it, or tries to disprove it (or some combination). What they don’t do is run out and gleefully do the very thing they’re accused of.
Also, I never said she was doing anything bad. I said she was doing something suspicious, and wanted to ask about it to get clarity. Notice how, not only just she jump to the worst-case-scenario, but now she’s using it to justify her own “bad” behavior.
I’ll cop to knowing that it was Leslie I was asking about in the group, but I think that I was asking a reasonable question, and I think it was entirely reasonable to get a group consensus about whether she was doing something hinky, particular with all the pressure she’s been under to flip teams. Maybe I was wrong about that, but I don’t think so. So I don’t think this was an attack, but even if I grant that this is some kind of attack, I swear I have literally no idea what she’s talking about with this accusation of “constantly attacking”. Like I can’t even debunk it, because there’s nothing to debunk.
As for Audrey, so far as either of us remember, she has had contact with Leslie exactly twice since losing her job in October,
For those of you coming here from the Slack group or other contexts who don’t already know everybody:
- I’m Ed, also known as “Roger” in the chat.
- Leslie is my ex-wife, also known as “Bugs”.
- Audrey is my partner, also known as “Snobby”. More details on my relationship with Audrey are below.
Any
blockquotesrepresent Leslie’s words copied and pasted from Slack with the only alterations being clearly marked with [brackets] to clear up names.
What’s her reason for leaving today?
She was fired for pissing off a co-worker and then blamed it on me with the then husband. He hated me, I left because he didn't believe me.
Leslie claims she left me because I didn’t believe her about the reason Audrey was fired. She’s right that I don’t believe her, but that’s the only thing she’s right about.
Not-quite-aside: “He hated me.” I never hated her. I never said I hated her. I don’t believe I ever behaved as if I hated her. I didn’t believe her, I was angry at her, I was afraid of her, I want her to stop interfering in Audrey's and my lives, but I never hated her. I don’t hate her now. I just want to live my life without having to tiptoe around her, worried about her exploding in accusations or storming out of rooms. ...To spell out the point more explicitly: THIS. IS. GASLIGHTING. She has decided my thoughts and feelings, and claims to have acted on them, and no amount of explanation from me, NOT THAT I SHOULD HAVE TO, has changed her mind.
But, believe it or not, that’s not the point of this item.
The point is this:
- She announced she wanted a divorce on 9/1/2017.
- She moved out on 9/23/2017.
- She filed for divorce on 10/17/2017.
- Audrey's employment ended on 10/20/2017. Nearly two months after Leslie announced, nearly a month after she moved out, and three days after she filed.
Now, I can understand that memory is faulty. Dates get mixed up. People get confused. But this was probably the largest, most significant decision she has made in at least the last 5 years (if not 10, 15, or 20), and she can’t get her story straight on why she made it?
If I were in a position where I was listening to her side of this story, this kind of incontrovertible, straight-up factual distortion (if not outright lie) would really make me reconsider the accuracy and truthfulness of everything else she’s said to me about it.
Adultery?
The only mystery here is why my ex-husband and his adulterating girlfriend are bring drama into Ingress.
“Adultery” apparently has a very fuzzy definition, so I’m just going to arbitrarily pick one: “Unauthorized sexual contact outside of marriage”.
First, I am going to take a moment here and make it clear that I am polyamorous. I “came out of the closet” to Leslie and a close group of friends nearly 12 years ago, but did not practice it at the time. Here’s the blog post, though most of you won’t be able to see it, and I’m not going to make it public, but it’s there (“Lunch with Mom” @ Jul. 10th, 2006 03:57 pm). For nearly 11 years, I waited for Leslie to be “ready” to even seriously talk about it, much less do anything about it, though she felt comfortable enough to threaten to leave me if I ever did anything about it. For those of you wondering why I waited 11 years, well, that’s an entirely different blog post.
That brings us to the accusation of “adultery”. I met Audrey at the beginning of 2017, and we became friends, and started getting closer over the following months, but I want to go on record and state unequivocally that Audrey and I had NO sexual contact until AFTER June 3rd, 2017, when I told Leslie that polyamory was something I had to do, and that if she wanted to leave me over it, she was free to go. At that time, Leslie consented and agreed to it. My first date with Audrey was June 7th, and it’s what we consider to be our anniversary. As for when we did first have sex, that’s none of y’all’s fucking business, but it was after that.
If Leslie chooses to believe we did anything before that date, that’s her right, but I have given her no reason to think so. At best, she’s making things up to justify her anger. At worse, she’s delusional. At this point, any further burden of proof lies on her. (As another aside, I acknowledge that having somebody “waiting in the wings” before converting an existing monogamous relationship to non-monogamy is generally not a good idea, and I may have moved more quickly in my relationship with Audrey than Leslie wanted, but in my defense, 11 years is a long time to wait, and if the proverbial dam burst, that’s unfortunate, but well, shit happens.)
Second, if she’s referring to sexual contact after she consented to non-monogamy, then I just want to say, without going into the excruciating detail she went in to when telling me about it, that she’s a hypocrite.
Yet another aside: You know, if she had stopped at “The only mystery here is why my ex-husband is bringing drama into Ingress,” not only would that have been the end of it, but she would have probably left me looking like an asshole, and there wouldn’t have been much I could have done about it. Instead she had to escalate with all this other shit. This pattern of responding to any perceived slight with nuclear levels of counter-attack was … let’s just say ... consistent throughout our marriage.
Who does she think she is?
[Audrey] wasn't doing the team thing and hasn't for a while.
I tried to address this in my first rebuttal, but I think the point went over Leslie’s head. My point was: who the hell is Leslie to decide whether Audrey is doing the team thing or not? She uses this as justification, but has no right to make the claim in the first place. Nor is it true. Audrey has been consistently doing team things, from as little as upgrading resonators to in-person events.
Is this more gaslighting?
MYOB
What I was up to is my business.
...right up to the point where it affects other people.
In other words, when she made an in-game move against Audrey, she made it Audrey’s business. When Audrey asked me what was going on (particularly asking if Leslie may have flipped teams), it became mine.
”My marriage”
She crawled into my marriage.
First, note the language: “My marriage”. Not “our marriage”.
A common theme of abusers is that they are possesive.
From “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft
REALITY #10:
Abusers are possessive.
───
New clients in my program sometimes look bewildered, as if I were giving a seminar on edible plants and they had wandered into the wrong room. They can hardly wait to speak, rising out of their seats to sputter at me: “But these are our wives and girlfriends you are talking about. Do you really mean to say that someone else can dictate what we do in our relationships?” They smile as they speak or shake their heads lightly, as if they feel compassion for my dull wits. They assume I somehow have failed to realize that these women are theirs.
The sense of ownership is one reason why abuse tends to get worse as relationships get more serious. The more history and commitment that develop in the couple, the more the abuser comes to think of his partner as a prized object. Possessiveness is at the core of the abuser’s mind-set, the spring from which all the other streams spout; on some level he feels that he owns you and therefore has the right to treat you as he sees fit
Second, Audrey didn’t “crawl” anywhere. She was invited. By me. It’s so common as to be a cliche for people to blame the “outsider” when a partner strays (not that I did!). But if she wants to make claims of adultery, don’t blame Audrey. Fuckin’ blame me! Then do something about it. Like, I don’t know, maybe move out and divorce me...
More possessiveness and some really tenuous claims
She started working at my job.
No, she didn’t start working at Leslie’s job. How would she have done that, sit on her lap, and push her hand aside every time she reached for the mouse?
No, what happened was that Leslie and Audrey started working at the same company. On the same day. Because the same temp agency sent them over as candidates within a few days of each other, because they both needed jobs! Yes, Leslie was hired first, but that is a really tenuous hook to hang a claim on. And while Audrey knew that Leslie had been hired there, it's entirely unreasonable to ask her to turn down an exciting, well-paying, career-advancing job just because Leslie can't act like a fucking adult.
And let’s go a step further - they did not have to interact with each other as part of their job duties. The fact that Leslie is even complaining about this shows how immature and irrationally possessive she’s being about this whole thing.
She got another job in Progress Park.
Audrey needed a job - she was unemployed, as Leslie so succinctly pointed out, and is a single mother of three teenagers. She found one. It happened to be in Progress Park. She took it, because it was her best option despite Leslie working across the street.
A month ago she moved in an apartment you can see from my window.
Audrey needed a place to live - her apartment had all kinds of basic habitability problems, and her lease was almost up. She found one. It happened to be in the same 100+ unit apartment / townhouse complex. She took it, and took steps to get an available unit as far from Leslie as possible, because it was her best option despite Leslie. (I also dispute the assertion that her apartment can be seen from Leslie’s window. There’s an entire building in the way, unless I’m missing some weird sightline.)
Bought a car like my own
Audrey needed a car - her prior one got terrible mileage, was over 15 years old, and, oh, didn’t have air conditioning (and Florida summer is coming!). She found one. No, wait, I found one. If happened to be the same model - but a very different year and color! - as Leslie’s. She bought it because it was her best option… and she didn’t even consider Leslie, because it’s just a damn car!
Even more asides:Proofreading this right now just before posting it, I'm struck again by how petty this set of complaints is. Why do I need to defend my partner and myself from someone whos accusation basically boils down to "I am very angry that this person is living their life"? Like, seriously, does Leslie realy think that Audrey is such a master of subterfuge and manipulation that she can get hired at companies twice, via a temp agency, just to follow Leslie around, and yet she's so incompetent at interpersonal relationships ("fired for pissing off a co-worker") that she can't manage to avoid getting fired after just a few months? And is she really so arrogant to think that at the second job, Audrey did nothing but, what, sit at a window with a pair of binoculars just to stare at Leslie's car in the parking lot? And yet she didn't get fired from that job?
A big field
I was working a big field but got blocked by EmeraldOpus in the process.
You know, what, while I’m on a roll, I’m going to call shenanigans on this claim as well. I can’t say with absolute certainty, but as best as Audrey or I can remember, the area Leslie modified looked exactly the same before she started as after. Could there have been a blocker link that we missed and she removed to work on her field? Maybe? But this just rings of a hollow ex post facto excuse to me.
Lack of proof
I have proved the work thing many times. You are too lazy to call Mark.
She hasn’t proven anything. She has not shown me one shred of evidence - one screenshot, one memo, one email. She has asserted a lot of things, but if there’s one new thing I’ve learned through this process it’s that her verbal assertions are certainly not evidence - in fact, they’re usually quite the opposite (see the very first item above). As for calling Mark (her boss), there are two reasons I am avoiding contacting him
- I don’t want to say anything that might get her fired (specifically my side of her stories, if he believes me, would show her either scary or lying), because I'm not the kind of asshole to vindictively go after someone's livelihood and
- Mark had already shown himself to be hostile and/or unwilling to talk to me when I was frantically looking for my daughter after Leslie disappeared with her without warning, and he did not answer me if only to confirm that she was ok. Maybe there will be some chance for us to reconnect and clear up misunderstandings someday, but today is not that day.
Audrey’s version of events is that her former supervisor was shocked and disappointed by her losing her job. The former supervisor has since supported her job search as a reference and has cheered her and encouraged her. I have seen considerable third-party verification of Audrey's version of events and zero third-party information supporting Leslie’s version of events.
Twisting history
I didn't attack you and didn't ball my fists because I had my phone, dialing 911 when I passed out on the floor. You acknowledged I had my phone because the first thing I asked when I came to was if my phone was broken and you said no.
From my journal entry (“Divorce” @ Sep. 2nd, 2017 03:03 am, which is also private for now) written the night this happened:
I'm like, WTF. Leslie gets up, starts walking towards us and says Audrey needs to leave. I'm thinking she's about to get violent. I'm trying to deescalate like what are you talking about? It's about time to go get Anna. Leslie says somebody needs to leave who is it going to be. I'm asking her to clarify if she means to drive, or to GTFO? She balls up her fists, starts shaking and ... collapses.
I look at Audrey and ask, "What the hell just happened?"
Leslie is lying on the floor kinda twitching and I'm just staring at her incredulously. Finally Audrey asks if we need to call 911. That gets me to move and I go to check on her. I start rolling her over and she startles. She freaks a bit when Bree comes over and sniffs her face. She tries to get up, and I try to get her to stay down until we're sure she's ok. I ask if she needs me to call 911 and she says no. After a few tries, and me trying to stop her, she gets up and scuttles back to the bedroom saying she needs her medicine. She calls me and I follow.
"I want a divorce."
"Ok. Let's worry about that later. What medicine do you need? Where is it?"
Now I will cheerfully acknowledge that this is probably not exactly what happened either (for example, Audrey's journal written that night doesn't have Leslie twitching until after she suggests calling 911). I didn’t video record the evening (and what I wouldn’t give to have a recording). But this was my best attempt to privately and accurately record the events as I saw them, and within a couple of hours of them happening. I’d think if she was poking her fingers at her phone while strolling around the room, as opposed to walking toward me menacingly and balling her fists, I’d have mentioned it in my private journal, don’t you?
(Further, claiming that the first thing she asked was if her phone was broken as proof that she was on her phone, is no proof at all. It is merely another assertion of her own version of events. That’s like quoting the Bible to prove the accuracy of the Bible.)
Stop rewriting history to relieve your guilt.
I gotta tell you, this one made me laugh.
My history has stayed, as far as I can tell, extremely consistent. Not only have I been keeping a journal, but I’ve been periodically going back and re-reading the old entries to make sure that my memories are not drastically changing, and to correct any drift that has occurred over time (because for those who have no interest in neurology is what memory does). Meanwhile, her stories seem to be changing constantly, seemingly at random, or maybe just depending on how angry she is at me that day. Hell, I can think of three reasons off the top of my head that she’s given me for filing for divorce. (1. To stop me from buying Disney annual passes for Audrey’s kids (which I’ll note was a misunderstanding in the first place from something our daughter told her, NOT an actual plan I had, and if I had, would have been an order of magnitude less money than our final judgement ended up being). 2. Because she got hired on full-time at her company and thus had the stability to take the next step. 3. And now, because I didn’t believe her story about something that happened three days later.)
Leslie’s malice
I haven't been active here in a while because of [Ed] and [Audrey]. Sorry if I mess up any group activities.
What have we done in the Slack group that could have possibly kept her away, other than existing? There has been no snark, no attacks, no “my bitchy ex-wife”... Hell, last time I talked about her, all I said was, “just fyi, my lovely wife is now my lovely ex-wife.”. WHAT A MONSTER I AM!!!!!! (That’s sarcasm right there, in case you missed it.)
I will remove [Audrey] from Progress Park because if someone says I'm doing something bad, I might as well have fun doing it. I will have fun doing that.
OMG. Look at that malicious glee. This is why I am sometimes afraid of her. Once she gets a justification in her head, there seems to be no restrictions on what she’ll do to hurt me or Audrey. IMHO, a “decent” person, when falsely accused of wrongdoing either denies it, ignores it, or tries to disprove it (or some combination). What they don’t do is run out and gleefully do the very thing they’re accused of.
Also, I never said she was doing anything bad. I said she was doing something suspicious, and wanted to ask about it to get clarity. Notice how, not only just she jump to the worst-case-scenario, but now she’s using it to justify her own “bad” behavior.
Constant attacks?
and you constantly attacking me here and elsewhere will not change that.
I’ll cop to knowing that it was Leslie I was asking about in the group, but I think that I was asking a reasonable question, and I think it was entirely reasonable to get a group consensus about whether she was doing something hinky, particular with all the pressure she’s been under to flip teams. Maybe I was wrong about that, but I don’t think so. So I don’t think this was an attack, but even if I grant that this is some kind of attack, I swear I have literally no idea what she’s talking about with this accusation of “constantly attacking”. Like I can’t even debunk it, because there’s nothing to debunk.
As for Audrey, so far as either of us remember, she has had contact with Leslie exactly twice since losing her job in October,
- At my house on Xmas Eve when Leslie stopped by with some friends to pick up our kid. As I recall, the interaction was social and relatively pleasant.
- After Audrey joined Slack as “Snobby” but without advertising her real name, Leslie greeted her alias as a new player. Audrey sent one direct message identifying herself. Leslie never responded.
A final thought
no subject