The inevitable

[ximinez]

Well, it was bound to happen eventually. Mom has discovered my blog, at least tangentially. Hi Mom!

It all started about a week ago when somebody noticed that a couple of documents on my vanity web site had gotten indexed by Google. Those documents, my resume and my resignation letter, contained "sensitive information" that, despite being true, should apparently not have been revealed publicly. (I won't mention what that information actually is, because that would defeat the purpose of taking those documents down.) This person told Mom who called me and demanded that I drop everything and take that information offline immediately. The fact that I was in my car at the time was not particularly relevant.

Being the nice (heh) guy that I am, I made the docs unreadable as soon as I got to work, though I'll probably revise and replace them later. I also went through my Journal and changed anything relevant to that information from public to friends-only (though I did leave most everything else public). I even tracked down Google's remove page and initiated a request to have them remove the "offending" pages from their index and cache. On company time, I will point out. (Side note to pandorable: this is why you couldn't load my resume the other day.)

The next day, I verified that Google had no matches related to the information.

As far as I could tell, the problem was taken care of.

Things went downhill from there, including being asked why I was trying to destroy them, Mother's Day with her getting canceled, being reminded of clauses in my employment contract (which may or may not be relevant - fuck if I know), being guilted over how unappreciative I am after they let us live with them while we were house hunting, and being told that I have intentionally hurt them. I haven't talked to her since then - not out of anger or bitterness, but because I have no idea what to say. Being accused of doing this intentionally probably hurts the most. I may be careless, forgetful, and otherwise a schmuck, but I would never intentionally try to hurt somebody - no matter how badly they hurt me.

To get to the point, today I get this:

From: Mom
To: Me
Date: Thu, 13 May 2004 19:29:27 -0400
Subject: You were warned

cardinalximinez: Contract work for the company I just resigned ...
<http://www.livejournal.com/users/cardinalximinez/13672.html>
... Information censored - duh
<http://216.239.39.104/search?q=cache:ws-aJS__rZUJ:www.livejournal.com/users/cardinalximinez/13672.html+XXXXXX&hl=en>
- Similar pages
<http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=related:www.livejournal.com/users/cardinalximinez/13672.html>

This must be new. It did not appear last week. Remove [INFORMATION] NOW. I do not know what you are trying to accomplish except to destroy your mother. Is that what will make you happy?

So now she knows I have a blog. Maybe she'll realize to take the filename off of the URL, and then the shit is really going to hit the fan.

The thing I don't understand - last week, when I changed my posts to friends-only, that was one of the ones I changed. I didn't think Google kept stuff around for so long before returning it in search results. The moral of the story: always check your headers. Or something like that.

Oh, and another thing, if you had bothered to lead the linked page and read it, Mom, you might have noticed that it's dated 2004-02-18 17:32:00, so, no, it's not new. I didn't go through all the trouble to fuck up my day and my website just to post and extra copy somewhere else. Geez, if I was going to be that much of an ass about it, I'd just mail a printout to the newspaper or something.

So, I put in another remove request with Google (that cache link above may or may not work). Went poking around the LJ options and found the one that said "Keep robots out" or some such - Oops - turned it on. Finally decided that to make sure Google didn't keep the page, keeping in mind that the post was already private, the surest action would be to completely delete the post (though I saved it first, natch). Again, not much more I can do. And in fact, it looks like Google may have already removed the info...

The question I keep asking - why does she keep attributing such malice to my actions? Did it never occur to her that maybe I just made an honest mistake? Maybe I was at one of the lowest points in my life when I put that information out there and it didn't occur to me to revisit it when things got better? Maybe if she wasn't living such a complex life of deception, half-truths, and stupid games, that maybe it wouldn't be an issue?

My defense is the truth. Aw, fuck it, I'm going to bed.

Comments

[switchknitter.livejournal.com]

That seriously sucks. *hug* Sorry your Mom's being so uncool about everything... :(

[bexfiles.livejournal.com]

That really sucks, sorry to hear it's causing so much trouble. No real suggestions for what to say or do, but I hope it resolves itself.

Non_LiveJournal User - Eric

[(Anonymous)]

Well, Some terminology above I can't deduce, logically. Damn Vaxer Slang. What's a blog? Can't be good. Anyway, you shouldn't stay up so late on a work night. Bro, I love you but you did fuck up. We all do BECAUSE WE'RE HUMAN! Sucks that on the receiving end was "Them". I wish I had an answer for you to resolve all this with. Regretfully, my last resort was excommunication (mutually). I miss my mom terribly, but I'm also happier without Ron in my world. Bitter sweet. You've always been a better politician with them than I was. Just try to work it out. Time heals All wounds (I hope.) I can't say my solution was the best. I wouldn't recommend it. I'm no wise-man.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

This isn't your fault. Your mother has serious issues. :/

[gardenwaltz.livejournal.com]

intense sympathies. thank you for raising my blood pressure to 'working strength' so early in the morning. i have had similar fears, but had already turned off the robo-option, thank you oh non-existent deities. but back to the main point. your mom is easily hurt, whether it's for her own benefit or not, it's true. the only solution i can think of, and it might be too late is, "ohmigod, virus virus, yanking personal information on to the web, aiie". ok, that's not too honest and probably fantasyland as well. the honest air-clearing method would probably involve truthful phrases such as 'could not feed my own child, savings down to nothing while my employer kept feeding me excuses'. if she cannot empathize with you, playing the 'mama' card is low beyond description. i'd advise a public, 'journal being shut down' post and a private only posting policy for a time. um, best of luck.

[meandering.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry that it's coming out in such a bad way. But at least with your stress from parents and a steady paycheck.

*hug*

[kittykatkatja.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to give you a *hug* - it sounds pretty sucky. Though the fact that you realize that she does all this because it allows her to avoid self-examination is a lot better than wondering if you were somehow at fault. Good for you!

*hug*

-Kat

[h-postmortemus.livejournal.com]

Went poking around the LJ options and found the one that said "Keep robots out" or some such - Oops - turned it on.


Yeeeeeeeahhhhhh... You probably wanted to enable that option before starting to write in your journal.

And frankly dude, your mom's a 'tard.

[tealfroglette.livejournal.com]

*ribbiting hugs* i know you'd never be malicious and i wish your mom would stop to think about it, she does know that too, she's just too busy wallowing in her self deception.